Nonchalant

Nonchalant - not how I envisioned this word to be spelt but Okay 

Oxytocin and Dopamine

There isn't a day that goes past when I'm not missing you.

Have you ever had that one person in your life, you always missed, even when you were together because you know that you might have to part, even if it just for a short while.

I would compare this love to a puppy or a dog.

The way my dog is so happy when I'm home and all he wants is a cuddle. He doesn't need much just a cuddle and some love. He is happy just being in my presence. He waits at the door when I go into a room he can't and he knows when I leave through that front door I'm gone, but I'll be back and I do love him. But I know he misses me, as he is waiting at home for me to return.

Maybe thats why I love dogs sooo much, I guess I can really relate to the way they love and trust. I think I'm very similar. So I guess, puppy love isn't so bad. It's better than a cat, I can take it or leave it, now feed me. Not saying that I missed you or anything but don't leave again....I'm only saying this because I'm hungry, meow feed me. A cat never admits they need you.

I know I'm in love because vasopressin, norepinephrine, serotonin and my favourites oxytocin and dopamine, make me feel that it is so. Pretty much the chemical imbalance in my brain makes my heart beat faster when I'm near you and my face just smile when I see you and as much as I get mad or as much as you might hurt me. I find a way to forgive you, and that to me is real love.

I might say I love your eyes or your smile, but really that's just what attracted me to you when we first met. To be completely honest I love you, everything about you, even the darker side of you. It's you as a complete being that I am in love with. 

So just because I haven't said it in a while doesn't mean I don't love you or that I don't miss you.

I love you more than I can ever show you and more than you could ever understand. I miss you with every bit of me, every thought that passes through my mind, every moment of every day, I miss and long for you.

image source http://instagram.com/harlowandsage

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Where did all the time go?

It's already July 30!!!

Time just slipped through my fingers.

Time it such a funny thing, and one thing we all forget is that we are all time travellers.

Days turn into months and months into years. I'll like to ask you when was your last moment, your last memory. 

Not everything we do, we remember and reflect on, but what you do remember, are you proud? Are you happy with the choices you made?

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

In a moment

In a moment everything can change. 

One moment it can be sunny and the next its pissing down.

Today I was disappointed, recently I've been doing that a lot. Even my iPad starts suggesting it as soon as I write dis.... 

I hate it when I let people back in and well, they prove me to be a fool. 

My mind goes along the lines of see see! You kicked them out for a reason. Now you know why again.

I hope it scars

Did I learn my lesson?

Only time will tell.

I know you're no good for me but I cant stop. But one day you will hurt me enough that you will break my spirt, you will break me. I would have learnt the hard way but I might then just maybe let you go.

I want a puppy

So I want a dog again.... I say again because I have and adorable pomeranian at home, but he is 14 and any time I ask if he wants to go for walkies, he pees on something. He's old, he doesn't care and he is just plain sassy.

And another time, more recently Bichon x Poodle but she is living with my ex. It was better for her that way just not for me. I miss her soo.

So i'm currently on the hunt for a Bichon x poodle again.

I want a puppy soo bad, I would love to re-home a dog but i think it might need to be after i get a pup, for the moment can only get one dog.

I've picked a name and everything, well i've picked a few names, hopefully i can introduce you one day to my new family memeber.

the picture i've uploaded is Archer, Bichon x Poodle

New start

So I'm back, another attempt at blogging and vlogging and everything in between, lets see how this goes...

I update instagram often, that doesn't take much to do. Hopefully I will have something brilliant to say here and often. I will start Vlogging more, unsure if I will use my normal youtube channel.

Until next time.

I should youtube more

life

Today I thought i should write something. I have a million thoughts running through my mind, about the people i care about, the people i love. Im lucky enough to be loved and to love. but its never as simple as that. and that is what makes it a shame. Somedays I want to just tell everyone I love you, somedays i can bearly find the strength to just tell you. Once upon a time it was simple.